My Severe and Forgotten Brain Trauma

Awake at 5:30 am It is early Thursday morning – 05:30. I got up to record some information on my new blog site. Not sure exactly what I am doing yet, but I will do it My nose is all filled up again, as it was when I was in bed. It has been full of some sort of crud – a mixture of dried and wet snot and chunks of sold matter. It is disgusting. This has been going on since early in the month of December from last year – 2015. The crud expulsions are more recent – since just after Christmas. It is time to stop, but it keeps on happening. At least my nose hasn't filled up again yet. I hope I can go back to bed for a while now. I slept well enough tonight, but still, no dreams – nothing. Because this has seemed to be the main common denominator since my brain injury, I wonder how much the two are related? I had dreamed a lot in my past. I even had a period of time where I could dream lucidly. Harry B from Reliance Electric informed me of those techniques in the 1980's or...

We all must work. If we do not, nor cannot, we become lazy, or disingenuous. That is the most common belief. Grandma always told me that we humans are considered as part of a working class. We cannot rest. Our bosses and the overseers of our society - whomever they may be - will make sure of this. So, we all fall in line, not really knowing what other people are doing, and not caring. As long as we work and continue to work every day. Even our non-working life is filled with work and toil. Constant strife. That is another form of dissension and division. We must wash the dishes. We must clean all around us; in our homes, in our cars, at our workplace. This work is not usually paid for. But, it must be done. We can never be truly free. We are slaves, trained to believe that work and production is the only way to survive. Human slavery has existed forever. It's just not always visible.     Posted 22nd January 2016 by James L Verhovec ...

As I Get Older OK, so I'm in my 58th year. But, I am still 57 years old for another 8 months. When I try to accomplish anything now, it seems like I must be 157 years old! That is how it seems to me. I may lean on my old injuries as a problem that makes life tougher for me. That occurs for many reasons. Even if I try not to be burdened by my difficulties, my slowness of wit and comprehension, my poor speech annunciation (which has gotten so much better in recent years and even the past several months or weeks), my physical ineptness resulting from lessened muscular coordination and my overall instability, and other reasons in my background that are not visible to me now, those difficulties tend to drag me into a swirl of sluggishness and awkwardness which is beyond my control. I can't get out, nor can I get away.  Youth has the privilege to give you the ability to take on new challenges and conquer those challenges by doing things and not worrying about the...

I Remembered What I Forgot OK. So I remembered what I wanted to record on my blog. Geez! Whenever I go to sleep at night, or through the day, or anytime, I don't dream. I may as well be dead. I'm sure I do dream. Everyone dreams. I can even remember bits of my dream every once-in-a-while. But, that's extremely rare. That is my idea of what death is like. Everything becomes nothing. No thoughts. No sounds. No visions. No one to talk to. Just black space - everywhere. Everything is nothing. That is my concept of death. A lot of people make a big deal about dying and going to heaven. But do we go to heaven? The more I think about it, the less I think that happens. We may never go to heaven. We may be a creation of other, more intelligent and ingenious beings from out there. Mere biological robots. Theories exist that we were created to mine gold on Earth, our home planet. We were created from animals, but we were given other characteristics that the animal ...

January 29th, 2016 Nothing can ever be the same again. Nothing will ever be the same – not in my lifetime; not in my life. Not in all of eternity. This is true for all of us. For some, that becomes more pronounced. Since the car accident happened on January 29th in 1983, I am who is left. That is really pronounced and visible to me. Today is the 33rd anniversary of the auto crash that mostly ended my life – it stopped how my life was becoming and how it had developed before the incident. It was approximately 1:00 am when the driver missed that turn on Diez Hill road near the city park. We struck the culvert in his little Ford Pinto. But that was 33 years ago. A long time ago. We had gone out the night before to meet with friends from work and to watch a local band play at a club downtown. He came to her house and picked me up there.  This is all a story that I had been told since the incident, after the accident. I could not remember anything about it myself. I stil...

Sorting Things Out   Things tend to sort themselves out. Whenever something new goes on in my life, and I don't know for sure what I can do about it, if I let it go for a while, things may fall into place. At the same time, that same event may become highly agitated and cause me to take some God-forsaken action. Whichever is the case, there is no turning back. I must run with it and make the best of the outcome. This happens a lot of the time. Whenever I try to force the issue, unless I know most of the particulars, a foolish outcome may result. So often, that happens. Too often.    Posted 30th January 2016 by James L Verhovec